I sat at my desk working while listening music and the strangest thing happened! James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful started playing and immediately I had a flashback concerning my ex that left me with the hugest grin on my face.

It was two weeks before my 18th birthday at 2am. We were up on the phone again after I had weaseled him into staying up, for the third night in a row. I still can’t believe how he always yielded to me. This time, he was the one asking me to do something. He wanted me to sing him something before we headed to bed. I refused as a plan formulated in my head. The next morning, as I headed off to school, I called him and sang him a rendition of “You’re Beautiful.”

In the early stages of the last few years, my brain focused on the ugly aspects of my past relationship. I was hurt and angry and so, my heart focused on all the reasons he was the enemy. I forgot our good times and the lessons these experiences taught me. Here are a few lessons these better moments taught me:

1. He gave me my first impromptu driving lesson although, I didn’t get far before he started yelling at me to turn the wheel correctly and I yelled back. That was my first and last lesson from him but it taught me the importance of helping your partner in anyway you can. This means that you should always be open to teaching your partner because neither will know everything.
2. The first time we met, he tried to flirt with me but called me the wrong name. I ignored him. Later in the day, being the tomboy I was, I climbed up to a cliff only to realize that I couldn’t get down by myself. He ended up being the one to lift me down. That bit of kindness opened my mind to him. This taught me the importance of being careful of how you treat people. You never know when you will need their help.
3. Our friendship officially began the night of a full moon. We spent more than two hours on the phone discussing whatever topics crossed our minds, including the moon. This sealed the pattern of our discussions over the next few years. These easy talks showed me all the great traits of a relationship that didn’t need to be forced. Its conversation flowed easily. From this I also regained a deep appreciation for nature.
4. The week, one of my friends died, was one of the worst of my life. Despite the distance, my mood swings and shutdown, he was a tower of strength. To me, this enforced the importance of being there for your loved ones throughout their difficult moments and despite distance.

The point of all this gabbing is simple. From your most painful experiences can come some valuable lessons. Maybe the hurt was hard but when I reflect, these lessons are worth it. They are things I’ve applied to my present and will apply to my future. Now, looking back, like Edith Piaf, I can honestly say, Je Ne Regrette Rien! 

It’s over to you, what are some lessons that you learned through painful experiences? Tell me in the comments area below.

XOXO,
Chañel.

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